You
don’t expect a case on Christmas Eve but there she was. She walked into my
dad’s garage with a cross look on her face. She was angry about something and
that was clear. What she wanted, I couldn’t have guessed at that. All I know is
she was about to deliver the weirdest case I’d ever received in my twelve years
on this earth.
“I
hear you solve mysteries,” she said.
“I
dabble,” I told her.
“I
need someone with a keen eye to check into something,” she said. “You got the
time?”
“It’s
Christmas Eve,” I said. “I got time, but it’s in short supply.”
“It’s
a rush job,” she said. “But it needs doing.”
“You
tell me the case, I’ll tell you if I got the time.”
“I
need you to prove to my dad my stepmom’s no good.”
It
was a time honored tale. Younger kids tend to get fed on the dream fed by fairy
tales and cartoons. Stepmom is evil and not living up to standards. Now I’m
pulled into the middle of it. There were a couple of quick questions to ask.
“Have
you told your real mom?”
“She’s
gone,” she said and in a way that said it was the long gone sort of way you
don’t come back from.
“Have
you talked to your pops?”
“I
tried,” she said. “He wouldn’t have none it.”
“What
makes you so sure she’s up to no good?”
“Saw
her with my own eyes,” she said. “She was getting’ close to the jolly man
himself.”
“Santa?”
I asked. “You sure.”
“Yeah
I’m sure.”
“All
right,” I said. “What do you want me to do?”
“I
need proof to show my dad,” she said. “I need him to back off.”
“I
ain’t got long,” I said. “It’s Christmas Eve and were doing the family thing in
three hours. I need to be in my seat with a button shirt, face and hands clean
before the knife hits to turkey or there’ll be heck to pay. But, I think I can
give it a look.”
“Good,”
she said dropping a fin on my table. She knew my rates. She did her research. She
also dropped a page with her address and digits on it. “That’s my house and
phone number. Call me when you got it.”
“I’ll
need a name,” I said. “I don’t work for nameless any more. Had a bad experience
once.”
“Linda.”
She turned and walked out and I had a case. I grabbed my kit, put on my jacket
and scarf, and hopped on my bike.
I’ll
be honest, I should have passed. These domestic cases are nothing but trouble,
but this one had a wrinkle I was intrigued by. Santa. Sure I knew the big guy.
Saw him once a year at the mall, wrote him letter, I even left out cookies. From
what I saw he was a nice guy; jolly old salt. His involvement was a bit rough.
Looking back, I’m pretty sure I took it to prove her wrong more than anything. But
sometimes a case takes a weird turn.
I
reached her house and parked my bike around the side. It was early and the
folks would be inside getting ready for the evening. I needed a quick look around
before things go to weird. If the big man had been there I needed to look at
the scene of the arrival and escape.
It
had snowed a few days ago and it still clung to the roofs of houses. Linda’s
house was no different. Her old man had a shed and I ducked out to it and
checked the door. Unlocked. He’d probably forgotten when he did the lights this
year.
I
slipped inside and grabbed his step ladder. Hauled it to the side of the house
and climbed to the roof. I looked around, clean untouched snow. Then didn’t
have a proper chimney, just a bit of venting for the dryer. Maybe he hadn’t
come this way? I slid down and checked the yard. I’d seen the front on the way
up. Other than a snowman and the associated divots there was no sign of a
sleigh and eight to nine reindeer. The back yard was clear as well.
I
rounded the house to the far side just to be sure. Clear again. If Santa had
been here, he didn’t bring the sleigh. Maybe he used Uber? I don’t know how he
gets around the rest of the year. No sleigh tracks didn’t rule him out, but it
made it harder.
I
walked to the front door. I needed to see the scene. I knocked. The door
opened. It was the stepmom.
She
looked nice enough. Smiled easy, twinkled her eyes. She wore one of those
sweaters with the reindeer and trees. She had on an apron dusted with flower.
She looked down on me and said, “Hello.”
“Hi,
ma’am,” I said, cause I got manners. “Is Linda home? I wanted to wish her a
Merry Christmas.” It was a lie, but you don’t get in this business to see the
better side of people.
“Of
course,” she said then she hollered for Linda. “Come in. Would you like a
cookie?”
There
was a plate near the door. All decorated with bright colors. I thanked her and
took one; a snowman. Sugar with royal icing. Nice. They were good and I said as
much.
Linda
walked into the room. She had that cross look on her face. The one that says,
why are you here eating her cookies?
Stepmom
left the room and headed back to the kitchen.
Linda
turned on me, “Why are you here?” she asked. “And eating her cookie.”
“I
need to see the scene of the crime. Only way in was you. As for the cookie, it’s
best not to raise suspicions just yet.”
“She’s
gone and you’re still eating it.”
“It’s
still good,” I said. “Shame to waste a fine snowman like this.”
She
sighed. I have that effect on girls.
“It’s
in the family room.” She walked away leading me deeper into the house.
It
was a nice place. Warm colors, comfortable furniture, and lots of phots. There
was love here. At least until I did my job.
The
family room was gigantic. All done up for Christmas. The tree was well done
with twinkle lights and tinsel. Candy canes hanging all over it.
Linda
pointed at a spot by the tree. “It was right there. I saw them kissing, right
there.”
“Has
your step vacuumed since then?”
“No.”
I
pulled out my magnifying glass and checked the area. Not sure what I was
looking for but there was a distinct lack of it. No fireplace soot, coal dust,
or reindeer hair. Not even a stray white beard hair.
Nothing.
There
was one more place to look. It was dangerous but I had to take a chance.
“If
anyone asks I’m using your bathroom,” I told Linda and headed for the back of
the house.
I
crept down the hallway listening for footfalls of the parents but I could hear
them talking in the kitchen.
I
reached the door to their bedroom and let myself in. I’d only have a couple of
minutes but I had to look. Maybe find a memento, letter, or photo of stepmom
with Santa.
I
dug through drawers, shelves, and even checked under the bed. Finally, I braved
the closets. That’s when I found it. The one piece of evidence that wrapped the
whole case up. I nodded, closed the closet door, and walked back to the family
room.
“Show
me,” I told Linda.
She
stood and walked with me towards the door. “Did you find it?”
“I
got your answers,” I said. “Not the ones you’re looking for but pretty good
ones.”
“What
do you mean?” she asked. “Can you prove she kissed him?”
“I
searched your folk’s room,” I said. “It was in your dad’s closet. The proof.
There were a pile of gifts, a bag of candy canes, and a Santa suit.”
“What
do you mean?”
“I
saw your family photos,” I said. “Your dad’s a big fella. Nice beard. Has suit,
resents, and candy canes in the closet. Your stepmom kissed Santa Claus. Of
course she did. Your dad is Santa Claus. All the proof is there.”
“That
can’t be,” she said. “I would know.”
“Would
you?” I asked. “They wouldn’t tell you because they still want to be as excited
as everyone else. I’m sure in few years when you’re older they’ll run you up to
the pole and show you the workshop.”
“Why
wouldn’t we just live there?”
“No
schools,” I said. “No other kids to be friends with. You’d be alone, cut off
from everyone else. They moved here because they love you kid.”
She
looked at me for a long moment. A smile crept across her face. She reached into
her pocket and pulled out the rest of my fee.
I
told her to keep it. Not sure why. Just felt like the Christmas thing to do.
end
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus